Accepting the Challenge

Spiritual Teacher Eckhart Tolle wrote, “When instead of reacting against a situation, you merge with it.  The solution arises out of the situation itself”.  We have heard what you resists persists, meaning, if we keep running from our reality and do not turn to face it, no matter how  fearful we are, the same reality continues.  Insanity:  to keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is how we perpetuate the circumstances of our life.

By now, you have gotten off the Merry Go Round,  have started to pay attention to your breath throughout the day and have reconnected with yourself to discover the False Self “whose been running the show“.  You have even started to shift your beliefs in statements that say you are good enough, you are lovable, you are worth it!  How long did that last?  How quickly did you resort to old patterns of behavior and then criticize how weak you were?  This is similar to intentions we make at New Year’s Eve that only last a short time before we fall off the wagon and forget why we even said that in the first place.  And that my friends is the key.  We want to see our life change for the better but only if it can happen magically when the ball drops in Time Square!   Most of us do not have the will (or mature adult running the show yet) to make the necessary choices for real change to happen.

We humans like our comfort zone no matter how uncomfortable it really gets.  Sure, we like a challenge.  Many took the ALS challenge one summer, we poured buckets of ice water over our heads as we felt empowered bringing awareness to a serious illness.  Yet, when it comes time to bring awareness to our own dis-ease or dysfunction, we start running the other way.  If only a bucket of ice water were the solution.  In our defense, we don’t know what we don’t know!

We easily see other people’s problems but we can’t see our own.  I remember years ago when I would go walking with a close friend and we would “do therapy” on each other.  I would guide her towards healing some troubling issues but when it was my turn, we got nowhere because I didn’t have much to discuss.  I’m sure I knew on some level that I was not “fine”, but, at the time, I thought it was!  Ha… I was so not fine but it’s called denial!  So, here is an opportunity to take the healing challenge.

What is it that you’re running from?  What is the pain you do not want to face? What are the nagging feelings that you keep ignoring?  Is it an old behavior that keeps getting you in trouble and you’ve lost your job?  Did your partner break up with you and you haven’t gotten dressed in a month?  Has an illness kept you a victim?  Have you been in an abusive relationship?  Are you the abuser? Are your children worried about you? Do you expend all your energy towards others leaving nothing for yourself?  This is the time to accept the challenge and turn around?  Who is it that has to turn around?  The Adult Self has to be strong enough to face the pain.

As we merge with the life situation, the solution arises.  We might already have a hint about some of the choices that we have to make, but fear has held us hostage.  The Adult Self has to take some action and it begins with having a chat with your Inner Child who still believes in those negative messages.  As you state your plans for change you may say,”I’ve got this, I can handle this, I’ve got your back!”.  Yet, the Inner Child’s response is, “Hey, that sounds great, but in all fairness, you have said this before and you never followed through.”   The Adult figures out that he has to prove to the child that she means business this time by deciding to take an action step and committing to it.

At this point, we do not have to take an action specific to  our life circumstance, if we do not feel strong enough.  We can decide to take any action and it can be as simple as committing to eating more vegetables each day for a week, providing you don’t already do that!  You do need to keep doing it until you get that inner feeling of self–esteem (the liking yourself mechanism).  Once you begin to feel good about achieving something you said you were going to do, you can then choose another action to commit to until your Adult Self is feeling the courage to tackle the necessary decisions and choices that will change your life situation.

At this stage of the challenge, you may notice that you want to make new choices because you are really liking, maybe even loving your new and improved Adult Self!  It’s easy to get overwhelmed when making new decisions about how to change your life, especially when others are also in involved.   A daily reminder, take time out to breathe and tune in and don’t be afraid to ask for help!